I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I pour the whiskey from now on
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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