You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
