her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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