I think I am morally bankrupt
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
