Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
