He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
