I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
