go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
