PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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