How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
