When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
