I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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