Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
