He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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