He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
