you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What drink are we having for lunch?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
