it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
