My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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