I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
