I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
