I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
