Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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