Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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