We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
