I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Randomize
