I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I currently don't understand fingers.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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