a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
