I think I died a long time ago.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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