fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
