you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
