i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
