i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
