Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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