Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
