The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
