I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
