Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
