I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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