Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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