he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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