Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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