Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
