i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
third nipple confirmed
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
