So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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