Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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