Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
