It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
