the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
