Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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