The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
