Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
